It was a cold, cold night
I went outside
Rode a bike
Thought about life
I am once again, faced with uncertainty. The abyss pulling me down again.
I don't know if i can make it.
I sleep with tears in my eyes,
Or sometimes,
I don't sleep at all.
Staring at the ceiling,
Thinking about my very existence.
It's been so long,
but I've been constantly writing
to ease the pain
and the darkness that dwells within.
I'm now a college graduate, yes.
But that's just one thing.
Most people don't brag about that at all.
It's a typical thing.
Now you ask me,
Five words.
Words that sometimes,
Make me cringe
or cry
"Do You Have a Job?"
I respond, in a form of a smile.
But on the inside,
I die.
I cry.
I once read something online,
Something that helped me to be more positive in life,
"We get it, the future is right in front of you,
and you don't know what it feels
to be an adult in just 24 hours"
Yes, precisely.
I'm 20 years old now.
A degree holder.
4 months ago, i graduated.
4 months later, i'm jobless.
I have so much in my mind
Not just these kinds of thoughts about my career path or my future.
But also,
I kept thinking
About this particular person,
Honestly, we're close friends.
We share just about anything.
We go to museums and galleries together
We eat at places.
We talk about love
But i fully understand,
why this person
has a lot of admirers.
Because this person is a distinct human being.
Of course, all of us are unique in some ways.
And yes, this person is.
But i'm not here to talk about this person,
i just gathered some of my thoughts about her.
Yes, she's a girl.
But hey,
There ain't wrong with girl crushes.
I liked her
But now,
I just feel this kind of attraction towards her,
A kind that is described as
"Infinite Tenderness"
But nothing
will go beyond
our friendship
And that's about it.
E.A.T.S // 2017
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