Waves of Existence

Having two different personalities in life can be very difficult for me. It may sound ridiculous but, whenever I ask my friends or even anyone on their first impression about me, they'd say: "Weird. I see your personality as somewhat weird". Though I too, see it myself that i have a different kind of personality, one that would be considered as inevitable as i mature in my day-to-day existence, it is saddening in my part as well that i have this character in me that leads to depression and despair.

I frequently think of certain things that contributes to my mood changing from happy to gloomy. I'm a prisoner of my own imagination. Sometimes, i see that there is no such significance in me while I live in this world. I have that kind of thought. Such an act continues to haunt me and there are times I sulk in one corner, or even, I isolate myself from the people around me.

My introvert side has been a negative factor to my existence. On the other hand, my extrovert side does the same.

Some say that when a person is extremely happy on the outside, in the sense that that human being laughs a lot and jokes a lot, he/she then, is sad on the inside. To be honest, my extrovert side & my way on socializing with people has been a negative factor as well, because of the fact that I think of many ways about how I'm supposed to continue living up the life these living creatures see in me, when in fact in my head I am in total misery. My ambivertness shows no good in it.

I want to take a break

from the outside world that gave me so much sadness and sorrow
I cannot hide the pain anymore
it hurts so much that sometimes
I just stare out in the open
thinking of the reasons
why I'm sad.

As I contemplate on life itself, I realized that I usually overthink of various stuff as to why in the end I always feel so depressed and in pain. Looking at the ceiling, embracing the presence of the darkness when night falls, that's when I only find the peace I've been desperately looking for. I've always been searching, seeking for the life that I wanted to have. Yet this part of me that tells me not to look for it and just cuddle in one corner, creates in me self-doubt and the essence of confidence fading continues to haunt my existence leading to a black hole of depression.

Our day started at 6am. We were fetched again by a guy at the hotel lobby and we were the first tourists inside the private van. This time, we headed to Damnoen Saduak Floating Market and the Elephant Village where we were also joined by other tourists (of whom are also picked up by the driver) since the tour is a joint tour. (We acquired of this joint tour when we were still in the Philippines and we paid around 1,150 baht per person)
The joint tour was pretty cool considering there were different nationalities inside the van (Filipinos, Germans, French, Brazilians, Canadians) and you can actually hear how alive the atmosphere is inside the van because people from different countries are talking to each other and shared laughters with one another.
It was a 2-hour drive from Bangkok and we reached the place at around 9am (we had to do a stop-over at a gas station at the expressway, so it took a while to reach our destination) and upon reaching Damnoen Saduak, we first arrived at the elephant village where we rode an elephant! (it was really cool)

Elephant ride at Damnoen Saduak

The entire ride lasted for an hour and then after the ride, we were fetched by our driver and we continued our journey to the Floating Market.

Damnoen Saduak Floating Market is the original floating market in Thailand, according to the locals, and various floating markets followed upon by other provinces in Thailand after it grew popularity throughout the country.

It was my first time seeing a market with only boats as the main medium of transportation there and vendors sell items from food to souvenir items to paintings with only a boat! There were lots of foreigners around the place and a paddle boat leading to the floating market costs around 150 baht per person.

Damnoen Saduak Floating Market

Tourists and Vendors at the Floating Market

After hours of roaming around the place, we ate lunch and as usual, i ate their famous Pad Thai for the 2nd time.

Pad Thai

Our packaged tour composed of a long tail boat ride to the floating village, not the floating market, unfortunately, but it was worth it. The long tail boat toured us at the center of the floating village where there are houses and villagers doing their day-day living.

While touring the village in a long tail boat

Villagers doing their day-day living

The entire long tail boat ride lasted an hour or so, and after touring Damnoen Saduak Floating market, we were escorted by a tour guide back to our van and asked us of our next destination after the Floating Market tour. (the package joint tour was a half-day tour, so we have the entire afternoon to ourselves) My mom told the driver to drop us at Pratunam, *it's more like a night market filled with cheap items, it can be compared to "Divisoria" here in the Philippines, but better* and upon reaching Pratunam, we started buying souvenirs and items to give to our loved ones. Basically, we did some shopping the entire evening and although we're tired & we lack sleep, it was another day filled with joy & excitement.

Pratunam Night Market

After an evening full of shopping, we asked people around on how to ride a train on our way back to our hotel, fortunately, we found ourselves home by riding their subway train and it's pretty easy to ride their trains once you've memorized and once you've mastered their train routes.

Waiting for the train to arrive

While riding their sky train

So that wraps up my 2nd day in Thailand! Another day awaits us as we continue preparing for the new day ahead, and this time, we'll be visiting the 3 main temples in Bangkok!